We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
