Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
