I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
