He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
