Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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