Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
