Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize