Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I looked at my own cervix.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize