You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
