The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
