Whod you bang
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
