I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
