I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
