Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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