went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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