He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
