It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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