I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
