I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
