i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
