I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Alive.
So much puke
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
