I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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