You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
