Yo dont text me then not text me
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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