Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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