If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The power of my boobs compel you
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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