i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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