We won't sleep together?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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