does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
