I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
