Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
