his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
