You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
