So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
