i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
