Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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