Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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