I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize