those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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