Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
