that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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