i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
