If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Randomize
