We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
