Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
