it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
