I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
