I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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