I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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