i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize