I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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