Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
