i just google imaged poop.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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