I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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