If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
