She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
