Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I am full of burrito and curiosity
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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