No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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