THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
please come you make the beer taste better
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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