How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
