i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
