He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
